11 Anger Management Techniques & Understandings to Control Temper

Anger is a natural phenomenon and anger management techniques are man-made.

anger management techniques

Without a deep understanding of anger, we cannot apply these anger management techniques successfully. Understanding itself becomes a technique. 

Here we are going to understand anger management on a deeper level and I call all this discussion and understanding a technique.

Please read the full post up to the end as at the end of your reading, it will entirely change your understanding of anger and its management.

WE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ANGER

We get angry, and if it is not in our benefit, then nature never makes it for us.

It means anger has something beneficial in it for us.

But as we live in a complex society that is not natural, so here anger has taken a weird and unnatural route.

We get angry, but as we live in society, so we suppress it often. And here the weird and unnatural route comes into play.

We are suppressed, people. Society has rules and rules for us.

And these rules are crucial for the better management and running of the society otherwise the society will go into anarchy.

But with managing the society and life, we are losing certain things in our lives.

In America, a lot of people are under the grip of depression. America has everything to live even then people are in the grip of depression and anxiety.

The divorce rate has been increasing day by day. It means something wrong has been running the society.

And one of those wrong things is the suppressed anger that we want to show but we cannot.

What is the meaning of depression? When we depress something that we want to express, then, it becomes a depression.

A thing or emotion wants to get out of us but we stop it under the obligations of society, and that stopped thing accumulates in time and becomes solid inside us.

We have to understand anger so that we can save our precious relationship, feel good and reduce our anxiety and pain.

All these things are interconnected with each other. We have to understand all these things. 

Without understanding anger, we cannot effectively apply anger management techniques.

ANGER IS A NATURAL PHENOMENON

In concern to anger, it is a natural phenomenon. Nature has made it for us for our protection.

When we lived in a jungle, we use anger for our protection otherwise we could not save ourselves.

But now we live in a modern society where anger is not allowed. You can do it but in a certain approved manner. And where there is manner, you are suppressing it.

Manner means you involve your mind and thoughts in a natural process that is for our protection.

And it is interesting to note that anger is anger whether we lived in a jungle or we live now in a modern society.

We should understand it deeply and we are going to understand anger deeply in this post.

My approach towards anger is entirely different so be ready to meet with some radical views and ideas about anger, its deep understanding and anger management techniques in this post.

If you apply these anger management techniques and deep understandings of anger presented in this post, I promise that it must make your life very easy. Your relationships will improve, and you will get relief from your anxiety and stress. You will come out of your depression.

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Let’s start,

WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT CONTROLLING MY ANGER?

We start from our ‘why.’

anger management

You get angry about something that you don’t want. Now, it gives you lousy experience as on your job; you get angry about something that you don’t want.

You argue with your boss, and when you explain, your tone of voice is angry. You are right on your stand, but your boss is not satisfied with you.

The fight goes to the extreme, and your boss gives you lay off. At that time, you accept it, but after few days, you realize that if you had been managed anger at that time, you would not get laid off.

Above is an example. Everybody has different cases to deal with. Our purpose is to talk about anger at that particular moment.

When anger attacks, it attacks with full velocity. And you can do anything at that moment. Some people do murder under the grip of anger and go to jail for rest of their lives.

Only one moment of anger and everything terrible could happen there.

On one side, we want a smooth and free life, but on the other hand, we have our emotions.

We cannot avoid our emotions. We are emotional creatures. Now we live in a society that has some particular rules.

It is not a jungle in which if you murder somebody, nobody is there to punish you. Here, in every step, punishment is ready for us.

It is for our betterment, and you cannot avoid it. But you can understand and avoid your own emotions.

Suppression of emotions is not a right way. If you feel angry and you suppress this feeling then where this feeling will go? It will remain inside you, and it is sure that it will damage your system.

We must have other ways to deal with our emotions and here we are going to discuss those ways in short form.

Anger is an emotion, and you must know how to deal with it. Feelings are your property, and you must know how to manage this property.

You are a driver of your life, and you must know when to stop and when to move.

You should run and manage your emotions including anger and not that your feelings are controlling and manipulating you.

Anger management techniques and deep understandings will make you able to become master your life.

That is why you must care about your anger and other emotions if you want a safe and successful drive of your life. You must be a master of your life and emotions and not a slave to them.

WHEN IS IT CRUCIAL TO MANAGE YOUR ANGER?

Everybody has different life situations and circumstances.

how to control anger

It is sure that you cannot control and manage your anger when it comes in a flash and with a peak performance.

At that moment, you cannot manage it. At that moment, anger controls you. But later, you feel guilty at that moment.

Now in this guilt moment, you can do something useful with your anger. In that guilt moment, you must commit to yourself that in future, if anger will attack then you must take your own particular position to handle it.

If you commit to yourself, it means you become aware of your anger. Now, it has some space to deal with it.

In everybody’s life, everybody faces some moment of life when he becomes angry without any cause. Actually, at this moment, our past attacks on us.

From our past, we pick some moments those come as anger. Now, in these particular moments, we can manage our anger as nothing terrible could happen to us if we stop that anger at that moment.

In a dangerous situation, where you feel insecure, your anger is for your protection, and if you avoid your anger at that particular moment, then you would get hurt from that moment.

But in your leisure time, you can deal with anger with more efficiently. In the above case, when past attacks on you with anger, you can manage it efficiently.

Now we take another example. If you deal with your angry boss and you are facing a critical situation where your boss is ready to make you lay off, then, in this case, you have two choices.

One is to fight back at your boss, and other is; you comply with your boss and submit your fault. But if you have no fault, and you are right, then in this situation, if you submit your fault and comply with your boss then it is not good. Now the condition is critical. In this state, you must control your anger and become professional.

If in this situation, you decide anger, your decision will be wrong. Here you must manage and control your anger. It is just an example. You can match this case with your own particular life situations.

In above boss case, you can comply with your boss at that particular moment as it can save your job but deep down you know it is wrong. So, you can look for an alternative for this job.

For that moment, you become complied but you must look another job, and in today’s economy, it is not easy to shift from one job to another. Once you get your new job, now you can face your boss with boldness and courage.

You can quit your job and start a new job as you want. Or you can follow a way that will lead you to your financial freedom. You can think to start up your own business offline or online. You have a hundred alternatives.

But if you are rearing a family then you must manage your anger. Don’t use this force in the wrong direction but give it a channel to other direction.

You can commit to yourself that I will stand up my new business offline or online in next five years. Now you have channelized your anger in a new direction.

Above is only an example. Your life situation is different. You should take your decisions according to your discretion.

I could be wrong. Maybe you don’t like the above example, and it is okay. It is just an example and doesn’t be serious about it.

The only seriousness you should have is to manage your anger and emotions in a particular situation of your life where you can do anything wrong under the grip of your anger.

But you must start pondering on your anger in your leisure time or when you feel guilty about your anger. Don’t deal with your guilt but deal with its causes.

So, you must be aware of your anger:

1: When you actually feel anger. Try to be aware of anger when you actually go into it.

  1. When you feel guilty of your anger. In this moment, try to find out the cause of your anger. You can make a commitment to yourself that if in future, I again will go into it then what should you do at that particular moment.
  2. In your leisure time, you should go deliberately in your past angry situations. This is optional as if you feel bad to go to your past angry moments, then never do it.

But it is sure that everybody goes into past angry moments of life. When you accidentally go into it then try to aware of that moment and see what is happening there. Do the mindful breathing at that moment. Try to manage anger there. Stop all that nonsense at that moment. I am going to mention about mindful breathing as one of the anger management techniques very soon in next sections.

ESSENTIALS OF ANGER

Anger is a natural phenomenon.

essentials of anger

It is for your protection and survival.

If it is not essential for your life, nature would not have been made it.

It comes with flashes without any warning. You just go into the angry moment.

At the angry moment, only anger stays there. It covers you that is why some people do murder in angry situations.

Here, anger covers them. Their discretion and understanding become nil at that moment.

But:

You cannot live without anger as it is a natural phenomenon, however, you can manage it.

If somebody does not feel anger, then he has something wrong with him.

It is not right to not feel angry. You must have anger. If you don’t have it, you are sick.

THE PATH OF ANGER

Think when you feel angry.

It has some path to follow.

anger path

Some life situations produce anger. As outside is cold and you don’t want to go to work. You don’t want to leave your bed but you have to.

Now this situation creates anger in you. Similarly, another life situation creates anger in you.

For example, you are a boss, and your employees are not doing well. Your boss is demanding performance from you.

Now your job is at stake. You feel angry at your employees and you can yell at them. You can fire them. And in future, you could feel guilty about your decisions.

But that particular situation has created anger in you.

So, the path of anger is always from outside. Anger is an emotion inside you in a dominant position.

Outside situation triggers the switch of your anger emotion, and it expresses itself inside you.

And from some life situation, it originates in you and goes to other persons. From person to person, it revolves inside the society.

For example, your boss is angry about something. He passes that anger to you. Now you pass that anger to the next employee that is subordinate to you.

And that subordinate passes anger to another employee, and it goes to the home of that assistant.

That subordinate can slap his child or show anger and fury with his wife, and now that child and wife can do the same with other people.

So, anger is revolving inside the society. When can it grip you nobody knows? And you must be aware of it and don’t come under its grip.

SOME ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES TO CONTROL YOUR TEMPER

Here I am going to discuss some anger management techniques to control your temper.

 (A)...  MINDFUL BREATHING

Mindful breathing is one of the best anger management techniques and understandings.

Our mind is connecting with our body through our breathing.

Breathing is a bridge in our existence.

anger management techniques

You see when you feel angry, your breathing increases. You breathe fast in that situation.

And it is right as you need more oxygen in that situation.

In mindful breathing, you take control of your breath. You deliberately slow down or fast up your breathing.

Now in an anger moment, when you feel that you are angry, your breathing soars. Here you can slow it down with mindfulness.

Just make it slow down. You feel that with it, your anger too stops. Or you can make your breathing as fast as it could be. In this situation too, you anger also will stop. Why does your anger stop with it? It is because you start paying attention to your breathing. You divert your attention from your anger to breathing.

Anger demands your attention. Now you have converted your attention from anger to breathing.

And it will occur in a flash. In most cases, you forget about your mindfulness.

The best practice is to practice it when you are not feeling anger at all.

Go to a lonely place in your home where nobody could disturb you.

Close your eyes and remember your past incidents where you felt angry. Deliberately goes to those moments in your mind.

It is certain that those situations must raise anger inside you. Now when those moments are there inside your mind, and you are feeling angry, just switch your attention to your breathing.

Slow your breath down or make it as fast as possible. Completely come to your breathing and give full attention to it. You will notice that your anger will stop.

If you are not feeling well to remember those painful situations in your life as if you remember them and it spoils your whole day, then never do it.

Then, just go to seclusion and close your eyes. Only pay attention to your breathing. Relax your shoulders and body at that moment.

Just pay attention to your breathing. Make it relaxed. With the relaxation of your body and breath, you will feel very relaxed on your mental level.

Make your breathing slow and slow. Here you can go to sleep. Don’t go to sleep. Just slow your breath more and more and a moment will come when you feel that you are not breathing.

At that moment, breathing is so slow that you could not feel it. But don’t be afraid. Breath is coming. It is an automatic process. You cannot stop it deliberately.

If you do this practice for some months on a daily basis, you will see a dramatic change in your personality.

You will become a calm person that never get angry. Even in an angry situation, you remain calm, and if that situation is so intense, that has raised anger in you then you can handle it very efficiently.

(B)... FAKE ANGER RELEASE

It is another one of the best anger management techniques and understandings.

Now if your boss is angry at you and you are smiling then it is not true that inside, you too are smiling.

fake anger release

It is great chance that inside you too are boiling, but in front of your boss, you are smiling or pretend to give fake smiles. If you fight back at your boss, maybe under this fight, you get laid off. You want to save your job.

But where will that anger go if you don’t release it properly? It will revolve inside you, and it is the possibility that you release that anger on someone that is subordinate to you or on your wife or children.

What should be done as you are doing the same nonsense as your boss was doing?

For it, just go to a lonely place as in your room where nobody could see you or disturb you. Now, you can release your anger in fake.

You can beat your pillows, or you can use foul language on your boss in imagination. You can clench your fists and teeth and can release your depressed anger here. But be aware of this whole process.

If even then your anger is not going away then you can paste a photo of your boss or your enemy on a wall and can beat it with your slipper. You can weep too or laugh.

You should do anything that releases your inner depressed anger. It proves very helpful as if you don’t release it then it causes a lousy impact on your life. Indeed, you will become an irritated, angry man.

(C)... BREAK THE CHAIN

Anger is an emotion that is inside you in a dormant position.

Outside circumstances trigger it, and anger is revolving inside the society from man to man.

If you are doing a job, it can start with your boss and can pass person to person. And it is sure that if it starts with the boss, then it will return to it in future. When it returns to the boss, a new circle or chain will start, and it continues.

break the chain to manage anger

Be aware of this chain. It should not reach your home. Leave this chain in the office. Break it as soon as possible by applying the above-mentioned anger management techniques and understandings.

You will see a fantastic effect of breaking the chain of anger. You will see a calm atmosphere in the office and at your home.

(D)... WITNESS TO ANGER

Can someone be witness to his anger?

As anger comes in a flash, so it is very difficult to witness to anger.

And the beauty of this technique is that when you try to become witness to anger, anger has gone. You will only meet the repercussions of anger left behind after the fury episode of anger.

But this is one of the best anger management techniques as when you try to become witness to anger, it is sure that anger will evaporate at the same moment. 

And that is it. We want it. We want to let go our anger. So, this witness technique works as witness and anger cannot live together. 

CONCLUSION

Anger is a natural phenomenon.

And anger management techniques are man-made. So, it is sure that without these anger management techniques and understandings, either we suppress our anger or we come under the full grip of it.

However, these anger management techniques and understandings will make you able to get out of this merry-go-round of anger.

We are not natural. We are currently live in a complex society and society has its own rules and obligations.

You have to comply with the society. But as anger is natural, and it erupts time to time inside you.

As I already have mentioned that anger is revolving inside the society. You can see terrorist attacks, layoffs, murders, fights between nations, religions, people of the same nations and religions.

You cannot avoid it, but you can manage it. And you cannot control the society. You cannot change the society. First, you have to change yourself. If you cannot change yourself, how can you change others? It is impossible.

Start with yourself and manage your anger. With it, you can feel good about your life. With it, your relationships last long, and it must reduce your anxiety and stress. You can get rid of your depression too.

Be a practical man and apply the above- mentioned anger management techniques and understandings in your life. Reread the anger management techniques and understandings and apply them in your life.

Good luck on this journey!

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surinderleen

Welcome to Power of 5 Senses, a site for curious and remarkable people who want to go deep into the hidden mysteries of life. If you have ever felt like there must be more deep hidden mysteries in your life, this site is for you. I am Surinderleen, the author and publisher of the site. For more than 20 years, I have been searching the hidden mysteries of life related to spiritual enlightenment and now have been writing and sharing them with unconventional facts and ideas on this blog. Note: If you think that you already have acquired an ultimate destination of your life like spiritual enlightenment, then this site is very important for you. It will push you one more step further where a completely new realm of life will emerge.

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